The Golden Kraut

“I work in the turret in the c{s} design room. I have flaming arrows, just in case…”

Quote:
“You know Don Henley? I made him in Photoshop. (Sorry).”

Reasons for winning (straight from The Big Cheese):
“I’ve met good designers, good sales people, and individuals who are really passionate about their craft – but RARELY do you meet someone who embodies all three qualities.  Jason, who we affectionately call Shamus, always provides a powerful presence to any project and his triple threat personality (creative, sales, passion) make him a great asset to our team.”

Describe the myriad of ways your life has changed since winning Golden Kraut:
I now have both the Golden Kraut and the Silvery Beans. I keep one in each of my back pockets. Thus, I have buns of aluminum.

Plus, the Golden Kraut helped me quit smoking.

If you had any advice for the throngs of people desperate to win Golden Kraut, what would it be?
I would tell those people to not wear thongs… not many people can actually pull off a good thong… wait, THRONG? Oh.

My best advice is to remember Confucius: no matter where you go, there you are. Enlightening!

If a kraut-scented Genie were to pop out of your Golden Kraut can tonight, what would you wish for?
Harsher punishment for parole violators.

…and world peace.

If Golden Kraut were a canned food item spray-painted gold, what would it be?
I always thought it contained a black hole, and opening it would reverse the space-time continuum, allowing me to return to 2003 and stop the making of Underworld and thus save the world.

But it could just be creamed corn. Mmmmm…