The Golden Kraut

Don’t worry ladies, he’s not as angry as his hair makes him look.

Reasons for Beaniness (straight from the mouth of our Big Cheese):
“Brent has a mohawk and thus won the Silvery Beans the moment the clippers finished their handy-work (plus Chip said he was super awesome to work with & Travis said he develops super cool plugins.  These awarded him +2 extra cool points).  Brent, you are one cool cat and yes, I do believe the haircut will land you some chicks.”

Quote:
“Lord, where have you been?”
“I have always been with you, my son”
“But Lord, where were you when I did not win the Golden Kraut?”
“It was then, my son, that I carried your Beans.  Here they are”.

Describe the myriad ways your life has changed since winning Silvery Beans.
I’m getting winked at more often by my male coworkers.

Pick one: Silvery Beans or eternal life. Please explain your choice.
Take away my beans, and I’m already dead.

Some people have said that winning Silvery Beans is a much lesser degree of awesome than winning Golden Kraut. Please explain how these people are completely wrong.
Gandhi was a political and spiritual leader who resisted tyranny, led India to independence, and inspired movements for civil rights and freedom across the world.  But he probably got his ass kicked at beer pong.

If we were to write a hit country song about Silvery Beans, what would we title it?
“Hill of Beans (For The Common Man)”