The Golden Kraut

Ziggy = leadership and grace under pressure.

Quote:
“Nick said ‘You won the Golden Kraut.’ I said ‘Haha. You’re funny.’ …Then I realized he was being serious. Now, I wish I had prepared a speech.. ”

Reasons for winning (straight from The Big Cheese):
“For illustrating leadership, super customer service, and building mad client rapport. All of Ziggy’s clients seem to develop a special relationship with her. From strategy and planning to SEM and account management, she has demonstrated her ability to perform under pressure.”

Describe the myriad of ways your life has changed since winning Golden Kraut:
Since winning the Golden Kraut, I grew four inches taller. When I went to buy new clothes to accommodate my newly acquired height, I discovered that they don’t make pants for girls with inseams longer than 34″. I spent the next three weeks wearing Muumuus from the Big and Tall Ladies superstore to the office, praying that I would not be scheduled for any high profile client meetings.

One morning, I was going through the bowl of business cards from the May Interactive Mixer and I discovered a card printed on vellum paper. The only words printed on the card were “Goldie: Tailor to the Kraut.”

The second that I touched the card, my phone rang. The voice on the other end just said an address and hung up. Later that evening, I decided to Google Map the address on my iPhone. I pulled up to the nondescript building and saw that the door was already open. When I went in, the entire place was completely empty, save one box tied with packing string sitting in the middle of the floor. Inside the box, I found a note reading “Wear them wisely and you will be blessed.” Under the note, wrapped in delicate tissue, was a pair of shiny golden pants with…you guessed it… a 38″ inseam. Best pair of pants I’ve ever owned.

If you had any advice for the throngs of people desperate to win Golden Kraut, what would it be?
If you’re short, keep trying. It’s totally worth it.

If you’re tall, just make sure that you have a temporary solution to the clothing situation that may arise as a result of unexpected growth spurts…at least until you hear from Goldie.

If a kraut-scented Genie were to pop out of your Golden Kraut can tonight, what would you wish for?
Some 38″ pajama pants…and a California King.

If Golden Kraut were a canned food item spray-painted gold, what would it be?
Generic Sauerkraut from the Northside Ghetto Krog…best kind.