Silvery Beans Winner
February 2009
Star Bastet
Addy Award-Winner, Master of Flash, King of Oregon, Bed Head Champion now for 20 company meetings in a row.
Reasons for Beaniness (straight from the mouth of our Big Cheese):
“Multi-nominated. Delivering innovative, cutting edge work. Won us an Addy. Makes a funny hat look cool.”
Quote:
“Winning Silvery Beans is like winning an award, except that it’s not so prestigious that I won’t consider eating it later…”
Describe the myriad ways your life has changed since winning Silvery Beans.
Since winning Silvery Beans I’ve embarked on a world-wide hospital tour and incurred innumerable amounts of medical bills resulting from heavy metal toxicity. I can’t begin to explain the myriad of ways my life has changed…you know, due to the Alzheimer’s things have gotten a little weird.
A note to future recipients – Don’t eat beans that are silver.
(The folks at the Award Production Facility really ought to consider putting some kind of a warning label on the award, especially considering that they make it look like a food.)
Pick one: Silvery Beans or eternal life. Please explain your choice.
Well, taking into account my recent heavy metal toxicity debacle & the resulting ailments, I’d say I’d still choose Silvery Beans. Here’s why – if I chose eternal life now I’d have heavy metal toxicity, & the resulting organ failure, forever, and to be quite honest, Alzheimer’s is kind of like eternal life, anyways. If I had originally chosen eternal life I’m quite sure that after the world ends there’d be no one & no thing left except me hiding out in a bomb shelter under a bare bulb staring at a deficient food shelf which only holds one Silvery Beans award, and I’d be stuck making this choice forever.
Some people have said that winning Silvery Beans is a much lesser degree of awesome than winning Golden Kraut. Please explain how these people are completely wrong.
The doctor’s say that if I had eaten Golden Kraut that I wouldn’t have to worry about all of my ailments & Alzheimer’s…
…because I’d be dead. Good Luck, Gold Winner!
If we were to write a hit country song about Silvery Beans, what would we title it?
“Shinin’ Beans ah’ Silver (…Which ain’t so good as food)”